supersaver

Author Topic: Online relationships.  (Read 13533 times)

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  • Topic Author
Online relationships.
«: June 05, 2007, 12:52:56 AM»
In furcadia, or otherwise.

I saw the board 'Online games in relationships.' and got curious about people's opinions about online relationships in general, aside from people I talk to regularly in-game.

I’m more or less indifferent about it, though I’d never think of doing it myself. Offline relationships > e-relationships any day, imo.

So, your thoughts?


Offline Sync

Online relationships.
«Reply #1: June 05, 2007, 12:55:18 AM»
I personally think e-dating could never work out, no matter how close you think you two are. You're probably half way across the country and once they find a real bf/gf they're gonna dump you.

Offline Usagi

Online relationships.
«Reply #2: June 05, 2007, 01:04:37 AM»
Nine times out of ten, they're a bad idea.

Even if you CAN make it work, why waste the effort and heartache when you get off your ass and meet someone in the real world.

They can be fun but the real thing is always better.
Not active on Furc but I'm keeping my alts.
Best to not ask or bother me about any of them.

Jirlae

  • Topic Author
Online relationships.
«Reply #3: June 05, 2007, 01:28:08 AM»
Well... it depends. :/  I think e-relationships and rl ones work the same, pretty much. I mean, both have their ups and downs.

I'd be willing to share my personal experiances if I wasn't.. a personal person. :P So I don't like to share. Nyeh.

xxx

  • Topic Author
Online relationships.
«Reply #4: June 05, 2007, 01:47:44 AM»
Let me throw out there the possibility of someone having social anxiety issues, or problems with people touching them, or perhaps they just live in a place where they get along with no one. There's nothing wrong with looking online to find someone you can get along with.

It boils down to what works for you.

hello123

  • Topic Author
Online relationships.
«Reply #5: June 05, 2007, 09:43:59 AM»
Theres also people that use e-relationships to practice sometimes on getting a real relationship, except if the girls name is YiffyGurl69, and its really a guy behind the computer... Then thats a different story.

Offline Hugo

Online relationships.
«Reply #6: June 05, 2007, 10:48:53 AM»
If a relationship starts online and the two of you end up living close and the relationship moves OFFline.. Then maybe it could work.

But straight online just leaves too many what ifs such as dating other people on other games or chat programs, the problem of no physical contact etc.

When I'm online I'd take friends over lovers.

_________________

Offline Zazu

Online relationships.
«Reply #7: June 05, 2007, 11:33:11 AM»
To be honest I really don't think they work. The distance, unless it's extremely small, would be too much for alot of people. Then again that's just what I think. xD
Squark?

Raver

  • Topic Author
Online relationships.
«Reply #8: June 05, 2007, 11:56:43 AM»
In reply to pyro: yes i know exactly what you mean.

I used to have social anxiety, it used to rule my life. In a terrible, terrible manner. I wouldn't go outside or speak on the phone. At that point in life, online relationships were more or less my only ones.... but i think it appears dillusional, to the "normal" or "uneffected" person.... and perhaps it is, if they're never going to meet up. It's just clutching at dtraws living in a fantasty mindset that everything will work out and you'll go hand-in-hand to the clouds with silver lining... NO.

Since getting over that "disorder" i could never have another online relationship, of any kind, be it friends or not. Because chances are we'll never meet. I'll chat, be friendly -- it passes time! It's fun. But not to be taken seriously, i think. Get too attached, they could never come online again. What would that leave you? A sorry, sad, case. The emotions are real, but too bad it isnt a physical attachment.

I am very biased because I knew how sad I was deep down. I will avoid online relationships now.

Mandel

  • Topic Author
Online relationships.
«Reply #9: June 05, 2007, 01:22:29 PM»
I'm living with my fiance now that I met online. I was in Canada and now am in the states to be with him.

They can work, but most sides must be very loyal and very patient.

Offline Eevee

Online relationships.
«Reply #10: June 05, 2007, 03:48:43 PM»
My highschool art teacher met her husband online and her kids love the crap out of him (he's their step father) so yeah, online relationships CAN work and lead to real life relationships if the two are willing to meet in person and are the age and gender they say they are and how they act online is the same for how they act offline.

It'd be a shame to meet someone on the internet who's funny and sweet and when you meet them offline they're an abusive controlfreak, y'know?

Offline Julie

Online relationships.
«Reply #11: June 05, 2007, 04:00:42 PM»
Quote from: "Lightning"
They can work, but most sides must be very loyal and very patient.


especially if one person is old enough to be married and the other still isnt legal. which is pedophilia if they move into a relationship at that time, but that's one of the parts of being patient.

Edward

  • Topic Author
Online relationships.
«Reply #12: June 05, 2007, 05:17:01 PM»
I agree that they can possibly work, and honestly, it depends on many, MANY factors. Personality. Interests. Desires. Patience. etc etc. Not all online relationships work. And not all RL ones do, either. A lot of people can atest to that.

Sure it sucks that the physical contact is deminished for the time being, which DOES make it hard. But if people are patient enough, don't rush shit forward; getting to KNOW someone is essential! and allow things to move as intended, then it may work out. Or you could be setting yourself up for the fall and major disappointment.

Erde

  • Topic Author
Online relationships.
«Reply #13: June 05, 2007, 06:21:06 PM»
wow i'm surprised this hasn't gotten my opinion yet.

online relationships are stupid. so stupid, i feel i don't need to elaborate. kbye.

Offline Chris

Online relationships.
«Reply #14: June 05, 2007, 06:23:48 PM»
Quote from: "xenon"
wow i'm surprised this hasn't gotten my opinion yet.

online relationships are stupid. so stupid, i feel i don't need to elaborate. kbye.

Offline Legendary

Online relationships.
«Reply #15: June 05, 2007, 07:24:34 PM»
Online relationships can and do work. If the two people love each other enough. <3

Hell, I work with someone who met her husband online. They dated online for a year or two and then met IRL and got married. Hehe.
But I still prefer someone IRL, someone you can touch/hug/etc.

Offline Havoc

Online relationships.
«Reply #16: June 05, 2007, 08:35:45 PM»
Quote from: "Chris"
Quote from: "xenon"
wow i'm surprised this hasn't gotten my opinion yet.

online relationships are stupid. so stupid, i feel i don't need to elaborate. kbye.


What they said. I'd prefer holding a living, breathing person in my arms over pixels any day.

Offline Kathleen

Online relationships.
«Reply #17: June 05, 2007, 09:45:09 PM»
I'm also indifferent. I don't care if others do it although I'd never try it myself. Not only do I like cuddling and such (you can't properly pounce a screen name/pixel/whatever! :P), but I just think that spending time - in person - with them is very important and can't be accomplished if it's online. How can your lives integrate if you're very far away and can only talk over the computer and phone?

I think trying to carry out a relationship online is very different from finding a person online, meeting them in person after talking for a bit, and then dating. :) I think it's cool when people meet someone in cyberspace and it works out.

Offline Narnia

Online relationships.
«Reply #18: June 05, 2007, 09:51:36 PM»
I have a hard enough time making them work away from the computer.
"The views expressed in this message are mine alone and do not necessarily reflect those of the Furcadia Alt Market, Dragon's Eye Production, or Furcadia."

Offline Kathleen

Online relationships.
«Reply #19: June 05, 2007, 09:52:22 PM»
Quote from: "Narnia"
I have a hard enough time making them work away from the computer.

Aw. *buys you dinner and a flower*

Edward

  • Topic Author
Online relationships.
«Reply #20: June 07, 2007, 02:22:55 AM»
Sure. Contact is essential; its a vital part of ANY relationship. But if two people are presistant enough and determened enough, then deprivation in contact can be a drive to make it happen in reality. Anything is possible, with diligence. Just depends on how, 'needy' or, 'intent' one person is. If you honestly got patience, then that shows some pretty damned strong and unhindered devotion.

Offline Hugo

Online relationships.
«Reply #21: June 07, 2007, 07:36:52 AM»
Quote from: "Edward"
Sure. Contact is essential; its a vital part of ANY relationship. But if two people are presistant enough and determened enough, then deprivation in contact can be a drive to make it happen in reality. Anything is possible, with diligence. Just depends on how, 'needy' or, 'intent' one person is. If you honestly got patience, then that shows some pretty damned strong and unhindered devotion.
But if it happens in reality isn't it then an offline relationship?

_________________

Offline Cristina

Online relationships.
«Reply #22: June 10, 2007, 02:18:30 PM»
Meeting someone online and then meeting them irl isnt e-dating. Thats just meeting someone online. Tons of people do that, but at some point or another, they meet up IRL. Which is cool.

E-dating (to me) is when you say you love someone you met over the internet, who you have never seen in your entire life, and have only talked to on an online game/on the phone. And that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It puts shame to the meaning of love.
I don't believe you can love someone you met over the internet, alone, without ever seeing them IRL. You may LIKE them, or like who you think that person is, but you cant love them.

And besides... Its not as if you cant find someone in your real life. Unless you are just incredibly picky, at which case no one should feel bad for you.

Offline Rain

Online relationships.
«Reply #23: June 10, 2007, 02:26:21 PM»
Rofl. Excuse my rambling. >;x This is just my little story and personal feelings about this.

I met my boyfriend online about a year and a half to 2 years ago, on a private Ragnarok Online server. I actually originally thought he was a girl until one day I was in our guild's ventrilo and heard him talk. I was so surprised, I was like "WAIT WHAT.. THAT'S NO GIRL." rofl. It was funny, but soon after.. We started talking more. We ended up really liking each other and getting along so well, which led to us being 'married' in game. >: And then we started talking on the phone regularly. And then a family event brought my parents and I to Ohio, which is where he's from. After working it out, we met him and his mom inbetween our locations.

Ever since then, I've been allowed to visit him and his family for two weeks or so at a time, when possible. We get along as perfectly online as we do IRL, plus his family loves me. And it's just so much fun. The first time I officially stayed at his house, there was no boundaries. I was so comfortable with him, from having to rely on just talking for ages and ages. I could be dumb and silly, without having to worry what he'd think, because our personalities was all we had for awhile. And I knew he loved me for mine. I don't think I could ever feel as comfortable with someone I met in person first.

I always thought maybe we could meet, because I had family there. Except I rarely saw them. But by chance and the timing, it happened.

So, if you are driven and willing to take the steps to do it, and be patient with each other.. As most have said.. It could turn into something really fulfilling in both worlds. Of course, it could fail and just be a hurt fest. I've had a few of those myself, too, but then.. Isn't that how it'd work IRL, anyway? Trial and error, until you find the right person? I went through a few guys I never ended up meeting and ended up getting hurt, but then I found the one I could meet and did. And I can say I love him more than anything now.

Offline Rain

Online relationships.
«Reply #24: June 10, 2007, 02:37:28 PM»
Quote from: "Cristina"
Meeting someone online and then meeting them irl isnt e-dating. Thats just meeting someone online. Tons of people do that, but at some point or another, they meet up IRL. Which is cool.

E-dating (to me) is when you say you love someone you met over the internet, who you have never seen in your entire life, and have only talked to on an online game/on the phone. And that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It puts shame to the meaning of love.
I don't believe you can love someone you met over the internet, alone, without ever seeing them IRL. You may LIKE them, or like who you think that person is, but you cant love them.

And besides... Its not as if you cant find someone in your real life. Unless you are just incredibly picky, at which case no one should feel bad for you.


Uh. Isn't that why you meet someone you met online, in real life? Because you fall for them and think it could work out in real life, because you see how your personalities click? Without that, there's no real drive to meet that specific person. And you'd just give up, because hey there's probably someone in real life around the corner. why bother. So it does start out as e-dating, and then can turn into something real. I didn't plan to 100% meet my boyfriend now IRL, I hoped for it but it wasn't a done deal. But then I was driven to make it happen, from e-dating him.

I believe you can love someone's personality online, because that's who the person /is/. What they look like is what they look like. And no, I'm not counting the morons that fake who they are and lie about themselves.