Author Topic: How much obligation is too much?  (Read 811 times)

Cup Ramen

  • Topic Author
How much obligation is too much?
«: February 15, 2011, 08:56:30 PM»
Before I start, I'll recognize that the average adult is probably much busier and faces more serious stress than I do, but this is what it's like for me here and now.

I'm a student in my third year of high school, which is the most difficult year to get through in my school (in so many more ways than just academically). With that comes a lot of obligation if you want to be "successful". You've got the SAT and/or ACT, beginning to search for colleges, maintaining grades in the most impossible academic year ever, and God help you if you do sports programs as intense as ours tend to be.

On top of that, many students (including myself) are involved in 4H or some other kind of leadership/community service/youth group/etc. More stuff for college applications and becoming "well rounded".

What ever happened to allowing time for yourself and your family? I feel like everyone, whether they're a kid or not, has too much on their plate. Life is so fast-paced and busy all the time. I, for one, just can't handle it. I'm expected to become some kind of superhero and do all of these things to make myself "well-rounded". Any spare time is just more time for another "opportunity", or I'm wasting it.

Being constructive is great and all, but now I find it hard to utilize any spare time for the active things I used to enjoy doing. Now, whenever I find myself with a shred of spare time in my day, I just end up sitting on my ass because it doesn't feel like an obligation. I feel like it's a result of all the pressure and obligations in my life right now. I'm busy the rest of the time, so why should I do anything with my precious free time but rest?

I dunno, maybe I just need some cheese with my whine (har dee har) and I'm just not handling the stress well, but what do you all think? Does society want you to be too busy?


  • Topic Author
Re: How much obligation is too much?
«Reply #1: February 15, 2011, 09:23:07 PM»

okay i seen this posted on tumblr a while back, and a lot of them are really lame and sound idiotic but they're all pretty helpful.

i'm a junior in highschool and i know what you mean. the one from that list that i especially agree with is "do it today."; i tend to put off assignments/projects for another day and i'll keep procrastinating and procrastinating, although when i decide to just start them i can finish in no problem, although me doing them quickly is rare... and that tip also applies to just about anything irl, like when i plan to do something a different day i'll keep running it through my mind and it'll just block out anything else i should be paying attention to. speaking of that, i actually have two pennsylvania history projects built up and i really think i should at least finish one today.

i'm really worried about the future, i try to take everything as it comes although people don't seem to think that's the best idea. tbh i have no idea what particular college i want to go to or what i want as a future occupation.

i'm trying to keep this short because i could go on for paragraphs about how stressing maintaining school/social/etc is.

i'unno, i think just about everyone is stressed in their own way, and as teenagers we're kept busy in some way. and i'm sure as an adult it will be much more difficult, so i try to deal with stress as chill as possible.

Offline Altria

Re: How much obligation is too much?
«Reply #2: February 24, 2011, 07:31:52 PM»
i completely agree with you that people today, especially young adults and teens, have quite a bit on their plate - too much, at times. more and more is being expected of people at younger and younger ages, but i think that's a good thing, in a way. for example, if you sat on your ass all throughout middle school, there's no way you'll be even remotely prepared for the workload high school's gonna throw at you.

at the same time, i think society has trouble maintaining a happy medium. maybe it's just where i live, but i notice that most people my age are either insanely busy, or do virtually nothing productive with their free time.

there isn't much you can do - workloads change with the expectations of education, the job world and society, and you have to keep up if you want to survive. it's important for young adults to stay busy, and stay smart. however, in your case, it seems a little excessive to me. 11th grade is always the most difficult year. i'd try talking to your parents and say, "hey, yanno, 'd like a little time to just relax and maybe look over my notes for school." it's not always a missed opportunity - taking the time to slow down a little can only be beneficial - working yourself to exhaustion only backfires in the end. i know from experience.

i think people can make it easier on themselves by doing less to make more time for their studies, or just taking a breather. you don't always have to go to that concert. you don't always have to break your back to plan that big party. you don't always have to play in a competitive sport, either. just going for a jog outside every day can be really relaxing.

sorry for the wall o-text, btw.

contact: altria, meiko

Offline Julie

Re: How much obligation is too much?
«Reply #3: March 15, 2011, 09:46:59 PM»
i get stressed incredibly easily (girl scout meetings once a week made me freak out)and i solved that by becoming a great fat lazy ass. i pretty much quit doing anything extracurricular. i might be a failure on paper (example, college applications) but i'm happy with my life. i don't regret not selling girlscout cookies or not joining the debate team or whatever.

the pressure put on kids to succeed nowadays is absolutely horrifying. i can't wrap my head around your own schedule, suzy. if i were you i would focus on school--mine was the same way, Junior year being hardest of all. but where people were talking about being accepted to colleges, i wasn't even thinking about them. i knew myself that i wouldn't be happy going directly from high school to college. i took a 6-month break and my parents literally gave me the ultimatum to go to college or get kicked out of the house, so i signed up as an Art major at ICC. after the first week i knew i still wasn't ready for college (Art History, to be precise) but i have to work through it if i want a place to live right? anyways, enough about me...

if i were you i would cut out an activity. yeah, yeah, college applications, blah blah blah, but if you're really that stressed out you need to make time for yourself. it's my personal belief that this is the time teenagers need to find out who they are... or they go to college, majoring in something they hate, get a job that they hate, marry someone they hate, have kids that drive them nuts, and they end up ruining their lives. worst case scenario, of course, but not something worth risking.

YOU are the most important thing in YOUR life, and if YOU arent happy, if YOU are too stressed, something needs to change.

deal with things as they come. the future is just that.. the future. it'll always be there. if you keep preparing for the future, you'll ignore the present. you can think about what you might want to do in the future, but don't get so wrapped up in it! college is still a year away for you. you have plenty of time to think about that when it comes. most of your teachers your Senior year will help you prepare for it, anyways.

over spring break (assuming you haven't had it yet, i'm having it right now) take time for yourself. play video games, if you have any. read a book if that's more your style. don't take on any extra projects than you already have. you have spring BREAK for a reason, and if any teachers assign you projects, get them done within the first few days so you have time to relax and enjoy your BREAK!